"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." Gospel of Luke 23:34

Forgiveness begins from the forgiveness of oneself. In every forgiving situation the forgiving of oneself is an essential part of the equation and has role in the problem as well. To clap it takes two hands so does any relationship begins from the person and extends to other or vice versa. Acknowledging oneself as a part of the problem takes great deal of humility  which is a gift of the Holy Spirit, which comes with discernment and divine wisdom. Acknowledging and picturing self as a part of the problem will lead to the desire to play role in the solutions of mending actions. There is a big difference between discernment and acknowledging self comparing with self pity or self neglect or self blame. It is not a self blame but the discernment process of forgiveness. It is not self pity rather it is self realization. It is not self neglect rather self awareness. This is a gift which accomplishes major portion of the forgiveness, that comes from the Soul, which is in tune with Holy Spirit.

Self awareness leads to self forgiveness. Self forgiveness is the first step to forgive others. Self forgiveness takes many times takes big blow to the self ego and it demands acceptance of one's weakness with relentless humility  It is not the human virtue or human rationalization but the conversion of heart comes, which is the gift  of  the Holy Spirit.This stage takes constant surrendering and subjecting oneself to the good faith, good will at the Crucified Lord's feet. While attempting to forgive self, I think it may be effective using Jesus prayer saying, Father forgive me and I know not what I do. From Jesus prayer at the cross, I understand forgiveness comes from God and the prayer comes from Human in the fellowship of Holy Spirit.

Still forgiveness does not stop there. It takes further bravery steps on the way. Forgiving self is a side of the coin of forgiveness and it is not easy always. It may be easy to forgive others than forgiving self sometimes. However, forgiving self and accepting the frailty of self is an essential step to forgive others. Forgiving others is not something a human can achieve alone. Forgiveness of self and others both action comes from God not from human will power or human good will. If it was so Jesus could have said Father, I forgive them. Instead He asked the Father to forgive them. All along His earthly life he was preaching and teaching on forgiveness in various parables, prayer, and examples.He even instructed the disciples to pray for their enemies. Now at the cross, he demonstrated the prayer for forgiveness to the Father. From this I understand that the forgiveness comes from God not from man. But man has to exercise the virtue of prayer for forgiveness.
Praying for forgiveness also heal both sides and mend the relations. The Lord who knows all the heart is capable of mending any suffering is ready to forgive any body who prays or ask for.After prayer, sometimes it may be easy to pray for others but it may not be easy to forget.These moments of unforgiveness could haunt ones life and soul. This situations could be faced again with the same prayer of forgiveness.

Forgiving others takes prayer from the words of Jesus on the Cross, " "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do."

These are just my humanly understandings, which may not be theologically correct as I am not a qualified person or writer. Please forgive me of my ignorance. May God help us to forgive each other and be happy in this life.

Prayer:
My father in heaven, I come to you today with praise and thanksgiving. I bring all the matters that concern me today. Help me to forgive others by thy grace. Anoint me with the Spirit of knowledge, understanding and discerning so that I may bring your forgiving presence in me and aground me. In your most beloved Son Jesus Name I pray Amen!